I am the Reverend Mother!

Yup, I am a nerd.

I think I should start claiming to be a "wild" Bene Gesserit.  I am apparently able to use the Voice to bend even the most difficult dealers (and dogs) to my will.  Here is a simulated exchange between a tech, a particularly crabby dealer, and me:

Tech: No, the software can't do that.  But I can put in an enhancement request so it can be considered in the future.

Dealer: This is inexcusable!  You need to wave a magic wand and make this incredibly useless feature that no one but me will ever use, and which will explode the size of our database, come straight out of my ass right now! (As a side note, I'd really like to make him say "INCONCEIVABLE!" too.)

Me (when he calls back later, thinking maybe he'll somehow get a different answer): No, the software can't do that.  But I'll put in an enhancement request so it can be considered in the future.

Dealer: Ok, great, thanks!  You're always so helpful.  And now that I know you're still taking phone calls, I'm going to ask for you every single time I call (which is often), no matter how trivial the question, even though you've told me you've actually moved into a different position and don't take support calls often.  Bye!

WTF?!

And as for dogs, the best example is a 125-lb. Rottweiler my uncle used to have (D).  He was an incredibly sweet dog, but he was also incredibly stupid.  Any training he got stayed in his teeny little pea brain for approximately 4.2 seconds, and then was gone.  Not to mention the fact that despite his weight, he didn't look it-long legs, long body, etc.  Except maybe his big ol' shovel head.  Pretty sure that's where most of the weight came from.  Anyway, he was big, but he literally thought he was the size of a teacup Chihuahua.  We had an end table that was maybe 2 ft. tall x 1 ft. wide, and he would try to hide under it-and then look bewildered when he couldn't fit.  I kinda think maybe he was a little retarded, even (not in a bad way, mind you).  And he was so friendly, he'd just go bonkers when people were around.  So one year, the whole family-my parents, my brother, 2 uncles, an aunt, my grandma, and 4 cousins-were at the other uncle's house for Xmas.  One of the cousins was only about 4 at the time, and he was all excited, and he'd been playing with D, plus with all the people around, D was just beside himself with rambunctious joy.  The uncle whose house it was also had a dog, which excited poor, stupid D even more (I expect that the only thing going through his head was PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY!!!).  So my 3 older cousins (who were probably 19, 15, and 13, but were each well over 6' tall, and the 2 younger boys were/are football players) were ALL trying to hold him by the collar to keep him out of the way, and having a difficult time.  But when I walked in the friggin' door and told D to sit, his ass immediately hit the wood floor and he STAYED there (I should also mention this dog NEVER got a grasp on the concept of stay).  The boys were even able to let go of him, get dinner, and he didn't move! Honestly, I would've liked to get a picture of the look on everyone's faces, because they were just all in shock.

Of course, this doesn't work at all on who/what I actually need it to.  Like, uh, the cats.